Making Space: A Different Kind of Back-to-School Intention
I have been teaching for 25 years and I can say that summer’s end never gets easier. While I am excited to welcome a new group of 5th graders and to connect with teachers and administrators as they move through their fall semester, I will miss the variety and flexibility of my summer schedule.
I will miss traveling with my partner, Stu. I will miss visiting family and friends who I do not get to see as often during the school year. I will miss the spontaneity of summer; the last minute Target runs, grabbing Starbucks with my teenage daughters, and meeting a friend for yoga on a Wednesday morning. I will miss reading in the afternoon.
This morning, I am sitting with this photo that Kate Bowler posted on her Substack a few days ago. It reads simply: “Leave space for what this summer gave you.” How can I leave space for what summer gave me? I want to really think about the word space. In the past, I have gone into September armed with intentions that feel more like a “to do” list. I will stretch and meditate every morning. I will make more time for reading. I will… you get the idea. This time, I’ thinking about the difference between making space and adding things “to do”. This is what I have come up with so far.
Make space to appreciate
As I mentioned, this summer gave me a lot of time with my partner. We were fortunate to be able to spend 2.5 weeks traveling in Italy together- our longest trip yet. In that time, we connected, learned a lot about each other and left with our relationship feeling stronger than ever. So I’m wondering, how can I make space to continue this connection?
One way is to focus on appreciating him. I recently asked my dear friend the secret to her 40 year marriage and her answer was appreciation. This fall, I will make a point to notice and name the things I appreciate about Stu.
I find that once you train your mind to focus on the positive and view one person with a lens of appreciation, it is easier to spot it in others. I will appreciate my colleagues (many of whom I have missed seeing daily this summer). I appreciate their friendship, laughter, and camaraderie. I will appreciate my new students. I’ll appreciate their vulnerability as we build community and get to know one another. I’ll appreciate their identities and the experiences they bring to the classroom. I will definitely appreciate having a student teacher this fall! I look forward to getting to know them and the ways in which having them as a thought partner helps me get to know my students.
Make space to read
I know that I won’t be able to drop everything and read in the middle of the afternoon but I can continue the Naples series by Elena Ferrante when I read in bed at night. I started reading her first book, My Brilliant Friend, also a mini series, while in Italy this summer. She has 3 more books in the series so I requested the second from my local library and plan to bring her novels (and a bit of Italy) into my fall with me.
Make space to be present
On a personal note, this is a big year for me and my family. My oldest daughter is entering her senior year of high school. I think part of my grieving the end of summer stems from the liklihood that this will be our last year having her home. I am so excited for her year and future but I know once school starts next week, the year will fly by (as did so much of her first 17 years of life). So I will make space to be present. I’ll try not to gaze at her sweet dimples and tell stories about when she was little. I’ll try not to be “wierd” (as she says). I’ll explore ways to stay in the moment- not mourn the loss of the little girl she once was or anticipate the day she walks across that graduation stage. Maybe it comes back to appreciating her as she is in this moment in time. Appreciating the year we get with her home. Appreciating all the ways in which she brings joy and light to our lives.
Word for the Month? Year?
One of the things I love about writing is what it reveals. I started this entry writing about making space in September and the word that came up again and again is appreciate. Perhaps this word is my guiding light for the month, maybe the year? I plan to sit with it, make space with it and let you know how it goes.
