Be Curious, not judgmental
Daily reminder on my desk
I love Ted Lasso. I love the characters and especially Ted’s positive outlook, enthusiasm and care for his players. And so, I was delighted when my oldest daughter finally agreed to watch an episode with me over winter break. And just like me, she was immediately hooked.
Because I know the plot, I am able to pay more attention to character arcs and capture Ted’s words of wisdom. Here is one.
Be curious, not judgmental
In one scene, Ted challenges Rebecca’s devious ex-husband, Rupert, to a game of darts. We quickly learn that Rupert has underestimated Ted’s ability to play. As Ted throws one bullseye after the other, he shares that as a kid, he spent hours with his father playing darts. He then goes on to beat Rupert and win the bet thereby shaving Rebecca from the humiliation and discomfort of sitting in the VIP booth with Rupert and his new wife.
His words, be curious, not judgmental, stayed with me as I thought about some of my students. When a student acts out, distracts the class or refuses to do work, I remind myself not to judge the behavior but rather to be curious about it. It is so easy to react. Afterall, I have 20 other students to guide and teach. But what if in those moments, I do not jump to judgment and instead, sit back and get curious? I ask myself:
What is causing the behavior?
How can I support the student to make better choices in the moment and learn coping skills for their future?
I now have a post-it on my desk reminding me to be curious.
Not only has this practice led to new insights and shifted the way I interact with my students, but it has also helped me to trust myself as a teacher. When a whole class conversation became heated and tense the other day, I resisted the temptation shut it down and move on. Instead, I let my students voice their opinions and concerns which brought to light tensions between students. Because I was curious, I feel better equipped to address these issues and plan for how best to help students repair their relationships and strengthen our community.
Sometimes we need a little help from Ted, or the amazing writers and Jason Sudeikis who brings him to life, to remind us that teaching is more than covering required curriculum, it is about raising compassionate and empathetic humans.
